


SQUIP Tips

by mthevlamister



Series: SQUIP Squad™ [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Enjoy you sickos, I am also a sicko, I told myself to write this, I'm Sorry, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-22 12:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11967021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthevlamister/pseuds/mthevlamister
Summary: SQUIP a = original SQUIP





	1. How Many SQUIPS???

**Author's Note:**

> SQUIP a = original SQUIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original SQUIP = SQUIP A

"The answer is seven, Jeremy. It's not that difficult." The SQUIP said, judging his. . . Well what were they anymore? Jeremy gave up on Christine for the SQUIP but they couldn't really date. It'd look weird for Jeremy to be talking to air, it would be uncool. They were sort of snuggling (Jeremy couldn't actually touch the SQUIP, but the SQUIP could change Jeremy's brain to make it seem like he was.) Jeremy was having trouble with math. "You can't pass high school with grades like these, do we need to call Michael to tutor you?" 

Jeremy let out a big huff, looking up at his door. The SQUIP kept its eyes down. Jeremy was about to roll his eyes when he saw someone at his door--well, actually two. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" 

"What did we say about cursing?!" The SQUIP finally looked up. Jeremy pointed at his door, the SQUIP looked up. "Oh." 

There stood two other Keanu Reeves. "You both. . . Look like Keanu Reeves!" Jeremy whispered. 

"You said that to me--Jeremy how many SQUIP pills did you take?" The original SQUIP (SQUIP A) looked at Jeremy. 

"Um. . . Three?" 

"Okay so three shocks." 

"WHAT?!" 

"Okay that's uncalled for." Another SQUIP (Jeremy would call him SQUIP B) said, walking over. "Jeremy, I am your--" 

"Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor, your SQUIP." The other one (SQUIP C) finished. 

"I. . . I know because I have a SQUIP-- there are three Keanu Reeves in my house. I didn't even want Keanu Reeves! This is-- OW!" Jeremy was rambling until felt an electric shock. "What was that for?!" 

"I told you, three shocks." SQUIP A said, glaring at the other two SQUIPs. It made Jeremy wonder if a SQUIP could be jealous. "No it's not possible. That's stupid Jeremy, maybe I've been spending too much time with you. Human feelings shouldn't work on SQUIPs." 

"Well-- OW!" Jeremy sat up straighter, if possible, and tried to act as well as he could. "Please stop? I learned!" 

"Listen, you're going to drive the kid inside." SQUIP C crossed its arms. 

"Trust me, he's already insane." SQUIP A said, shocking Jeremy once again. It grinned, seeing Jeremy in pain made it happy. "If you keep screaming Jeremy, I'll shock you more." 

"Wait why?" SQUIP B look almost appalled. 

"This is the worst. There's three of you!" Jeremy whined, slumping over in his seat. "Now unless one of you can whisper the answers to me in class, I'm studying--" 

"I'll do it!" SQUIP B said. "Help you with your goal! It isn't Christine anymore, but. . . Oh, yeah that's unrealistic Jeremy." 

"I know it's unrealistic!" Jeremy crossed his arms. "I'm in love my a supercomputer who abuses me because I have stockholm syndrome. Trust me I know--OW! Can you stop?!" 

"Each time you talk back I shock." SQUIP A leaned close. "Plus you were slouching again." 

"Yeah, yeah. Understood, now can I please finish my homework so I can pass high school--" Jeremy was cut off by the Legend of Zelda theme song playing. He picked it up, answering. "Michael! Hey what's up?" For clarification, the deal between the SQUIP and Jeremy was simple. Jeremy got his Michael and the SQUIP got its Jeremy. Michael had to agree as well, it was the only way Jeremy and Michael could hang out at this point; if Michael said no, optic nerve blocking would be turned on without Jeremy's okay. The SQUIPs watched as Jeremy grinned, bouncing in his seat. "Nah, I actually don't have it but you should come over! Wait you're outside? Killer man, did you bring some crystal Pepsi? Dude that was discounted in the 90's. . . You're such a nerd, yeah get in here." 

Michael kicked open the door, grinning. "Michael makes an entrance! Hey, so where is my friends SQUIP so I can force him to drink crystal Pepsi!" 

"There's. . . There's three." Jeremy said softly. "I took three pills, Rich gave me an extra two for free because I said I was ripped off and he felt bad. Well two appeared today!" 

"Oh god don't leave me again. I can't handle being alone, I have social anxiety!" Michael grabbed Jeremy, hugging him close. "I finally started talking to your friends!" 

"Don't worry Michael, I won't leave you since my new goal isn't Christine." Jeremy hugged back. "It's passing high school and, uh, living with my SQUIP in a romantic fashion. You're helping me survive this hell, I can't get rid of you." 

"Jeremiah you're really fucked up, you know that? He hurts you!"

"Says the guy who's dating the other two guys who increased the first guys anxiety by bullying him since middle school!" Jeremy poked his best friend. 

"Hey, leave me alone." 

"Where are Rich and Jake?"

"Well they wanted a private date and I guess I was bothering them enough. It's not like they secretly pity me or don't know how to break up with me, but I have you to hang out with so I'm fine. We're good, I'm not scared at all!" 

"You know what'll make you feel better? Some video games! Let's go and beat the boss of level fourteen man!" Jeremy slapped Michael on the back, grinning. Michael smiled back and threw a fist in the air. 

"LET US TAKE THY BLOOD OF FIENDS!" Michael screamed, going to their area of gaming. Jeremy was staring at his best friend say these things for too long apparently, because SQUIP A shocked him. "You okay Jeremy?! I have the Red drink, the Code Red, the Blue, the Orange, the regular. I got all my Dews, dude--should I say Dewd?" 

Jeremy smiled, covering his mouth before laughing his ass off. He stifled his laughter for a second, taking a glance at the (now) tense SQUIPs. "T-they don't like the red or code red--oh my god 'dewd' I'm going to lose it." Jeremy fell onto the ground, howling with laughter. "I hate you so much that was great!" 

"I'm a great comedian, I know. I'm afraid I'm not Heere, but I will be here for two more years." 

"THAT WAS EVEN WORSE YOU DON'T DO NAME PUNS MELL!" Jeremy sat up, wiping his eyes. "I need a minute, I need five minutes." 

"Um, who said that I sMELLed in third grade via note?" 

"M-me." 

"Fucking fight me Jeremiah. Now, shall we play some games? Or is your boyfriend too protective?" Michael helped Jeremy up. "After all, he knows allllll our hisssstorrrryyyyy!" 

"Do you want me to get shocked Michael? Also, SQUIPs don't go by the gender binary. They're such complex creatures--"

"Computers." 

"--it's so cool how they know everything Michael!" 

"I can see why you're enamoured by this kid." SQUIP C mumbled, watching Jeremy. 

"Whatever you say, now I also brought cookies." Michael unpacked his bag. 

"Michael are you okay?" 

"Perfectly fine. I'm just worried because now there are three SQUIPs and if they all hate me and turn optic nerve blocking on it'll be thrice the amount prior to today, and I shall cry."

"He's anxious," SQUIP B said. "Jeremy, tell him we have no problems with him being your friend." 

"They don't mind you, you're a pretty chill person." Jeremy set up the game, grabbing a soda. "You didn't. . ."

"Coca-Cola Blak? Oh I did, it's like regular Cola, but mixed with coffee! I also got Pepsi Blue, it's like Crystal Pepsi--but berry flavored Jeremy!"

"How do you even get these?" Jeremy opened the Cola. "I mean I get it, someone's hooking you up, but why?" 

"Because I'm amazing and they see my car and they go 'damn, that's a retro loser right there'." Michael picked up dnL, opening it. 

"Fair enough, okay so back to the game." 

The SQUIPs got to watch the boys play video games, which was interesting enough to see how the boys could talk at the same time ("But Michael isn't SQUIPped, why do they do this?" "I don't know!") Jeremy was about to give up after two hours. "God if we don't beat this level I'm going to kill myself--"

"Nice. Things." Michael hissed. 

". . . I'm not serious?" Jeremy smiled. "It was a--" 

"It doesn't matter if you're known for suicidal thoughts and depression like you are Jer, now say one nice thing about yourself. If you don't I'm forcing the god damn drink down your throat and you will finally be free. Those drops did nothing for you, Richard will ignore his SQUIP but you got in a torrid affair, so nice things now." 

"Oh, uh, well, I, um, you see, I have a wonderful best friend--" 

"That's me." Michael paused the game, looking at Jeremy. 

"Don't look at me." SQUIP A said, crossing its arms. "He'll know if it's one of us, you have to do this yourself Jeremy. Find something beautiful about yourself, you're not in trouble. You need to do this, anyway, according to your therapist." 

"Um, well I can paint nails well and I look killer in a dress." Jeremy said quickly. 

"No one would ever guess that you're--" Michael started.

"Genderqueer? Yeah, yeah! I remember the first time Chloe and Brooke almost found out, god you should've heard them Michael. 'Is that a girl's shirt' oh my gosh it was great!" Jeremy snickered, punching Michael's shoulder. "It's because I use 'he' that everyone gets confused, how stupid is that?" 

"Really fucking stupid." 

"Two trans people in my room, three computers that one of them can see." Jeremy rolled his eyes. 

"God dammit I died again!"

"Dude I have, like, two percent of my health left. I'm so going to die, might as well start on homework." 

Both boys got up, walking over to Jeremy's bed. Michael smiled, glancing around the room. "Remember, I'm here. Three SQUIPs is kind of--" 

"Trust me I know." Jeremy smiled. 

Three SQUIPs was going to be exciting.


	2. Telling the Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is fucked up." 
> 
> Or: 
> 
> No, really, Jeremy what the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Tumblr is mthevlamister, the blog is 'ace musical lover'! Send in messages about fic requests, chapter ideas, questions, or just to say hi!  
> Like, it's better than me posting 4539 things a day!

"Three THQUIPth?! Are you inthane?!" Rich slammed his hand on the table where the SQUIP Squad was sitting. Michael sat down next to Jeremy, grinning. "Michael what the fuck, come over here with uth." 

"I really really need to see your reactions to Jeremy's little foursome with his SQUIPs, I'm excited to see all of your reactions. Wait I should stand up for this, I need to see EVERYTHING!" Michael quickly stood up, smiling still. He stayed right next to Jeremy, so Jeremy was about to hit him until he got shocked. 

"What was that for?!" Jeremy shouted, turning to where SQUIP A was. He got another shock, indicating he shouldn't be talking aloud. "Oh please, they all know you're there. What was the first one for?!"

"You can't solve things with violence." SQUIP C said, weakly. It was behind Jeremy, making said boy whip around to face it. "So I used violence to fix you?" Jeremy was about to open his mouth when SQUIP A shocked him again. 

"For talking back to me." 

"Are you okay?" Jenna's voice brought Jeremy back to reality. "I just got to the table and you're looking around like you're insane." 

"He has three SQUIPs." Michael snickered. 

"WHAT?! MICHAEL GET RED DEW!"

"It's not needed, because guess what Jenna!" Michael opened his mouth, only to have Jeremy cover it. 

"I want to say it." Jeremy whimpered softly, using puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

"Good, keep acting adorable." SQUIP C whispered. "It will make Michael stop." 

"No it won't." SQUIP B looked at SQUIP C. 

"I know." SQUIP C said. "Jeremy doesn't, though." 

"I heard that!" Jeremy hissed. 

"Heard what?" Christine asked, plopping down next to Jeremy. "Is your SQUIPfriend talking to you again? I hope they're being nice!" 

"Where are Chloe and Brooke?" Jeremy asked Jake (who was quiet the whole time.) avoiding Christine's question. He was waiting for the two girls to get there.

"They're over there." Jake pointed to the two girls walking over. When Chloe and Brooke sat down Jeremy began.

"Alright, so last night I had two more SQUIPs appear. They all look like Keanu Reeves and I'm honestly so confused. It's like three different computers attacking mine. The second one, I'm calling it B, has yet to shock me. C just did, because I'm too violent apparently. So there are three SQUIPs right now and I'm either really happy or really scared." Jeremy smiled, looking almost like a kid who lost his first tooth. "I think this is super interesting, I'm going to be honest I love it. I'm still only into the original but, like, isn't this weird? There are three! Three!" 

"What the fuck?" Brooke slammed her hand down on the table. "Jeremy! That's bad! This won't end well!"

"Oh god he's going to have an orgy with them all." Chloe groaned. 

"Um, I can't actually touch them." Jeremy pointed out, receiving a glare from Chloe. "What? I'm just pointing out that I can't really have an orgy! It's not physically possible!" 

"Jeremy, are you sure you're going to be okay?" Christine put a hand on Jeremy's shoulder. "If you're okay with it, I will support you. You look really happy! I'm just worried you're going to get hurt. What if they break up with you? You'll be stuck with them from the rest of your life! You can't even break up with them, they can hurt you. What if they hurt you?" 

"Tell her you will be fine, she's getting worried. Say you won't let it happen and that if it does you'll tell her." SQUIP B said. 

"I'm going to be fine, I won't let it happen. I'll be sure to tell you if anything happens, Christine--well, Michael since he has the drink." Jeremy smiled, hoping to ease Christine's tension. It worked, she smiled and hugged Jeremy tightly before pulling away to eat. "I'm pretty sure everything will be alright!"

"If you say so, Jeremy." Christine poked Jeremy with her fork. "You haven't touched your lunch." 

Michael sat down, looking at his boyfriends. "Nothing else to say to Jeremy? Because I would also like to give all the SQUIPs a lecture about dating my best friend. I'm going to do it to the other two, already did for the first one. Apparently he grew so annoyed with the fact I was lecturing him he deleted my profile from one of our games." 

"Well I mean I'm fine with it." Jake smiled. "As long as Jeremy is safe." 

"I am refraining from murdering Jeremy." Rich stated, crossing his arms. "It'th fucked up." 

"I agree with Rich." Brooke said softly. "It's really messed up, what if you go insane?" 

"Tell her you're already insane." SQUIP A said. 

"I'm already insane--you just wanted me to say it." Jeremy looked at SQUIP A, frowning. 

"Yes, I did. Tell her if you go insane they have permission to get rid of us." 

"If I go insane you can force me to drink Mountain Dew Red, or Code Red. One of them says that works just as well, which is weird because that would've been super helpful earlier." Jeremy said, smiling more. "There are three of them! Three!" 

"You're really happy about this." Jenna said softly. "Like, really happy." 

"Jenna, there's three!" 

"I-I know Jeremy." 

"Three!" 

"God help us, this is all we're going to hear about." Jake whispered to Chloe. 

"I know." Chloe whispered back, grinning.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

"Jeremy, you should be laying on your back. It's better for your posture." SQUIP A said, the other two SQUIPs looked on. SQUIP A was laying next to him. 

"I like looking at you while I fall asleep." Jeremy whispered, smiling. 

"I can hover over you." 

"I don't want you to, I want you like this." Jeremy scooted closer, staring at the glitching SQUIP before him. It wasn't like he wasn't going to roll over onto his back when he fell asleep, he always did. 

"I know you do, it's very cute." 

"So then--" Jeremy yawned, closing his eyes. "--don't fight me." 

"Goodnight Jeremy." SQUIP A whispered. 

"You have a big day tomorrow." SQUIP C said. 

"As do we." SQUIP B stated, watching Jeremy fall asleep quickly.

In all honesty, none of them could get enough of the boy when he was tired.

 


	3. Coming Out SQUIP Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He even loved the abuse.
> 
> Or: 
> 
> I really don't know what you're expecting. It's the SQUIP, it's not a 'oh I love you therefore I shall shower you in kisses!'
> 
> It's abusive, you can ship it just acknowledge it's pretty fucking abusive. 
> 
> Well, at least in musical form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hopes are that one day someone makes fan art out of my stuff, but I know it won't happen because there are no memey moments or anything. I have tried to draw my own stuff, I am trash at drawing :)

"Okay but what if someone bullies me?" 

"Jeremy, I will shock you if you don't stop worrying." 

"Wow, so supportive of your Jeremy." 

"I, too, will confirm you look great." 

"Maybe fix your eyeliner a bit, okay?" 

Jeremy stood in front of his mirror, he was wearing a dress. His makeup was nice, he loved watching the tutorials but now he also had the SQUIPs. "Can. . . Can one of you help? I have so much trouble with eyeliner."

SQUIP C smiled, pushing past the other two. "Let me, I can make you look perfect!" 

"Um, okay." Jeremy turned to SQUIP C, allowing it to fix his makeup. He stayed perfectly still, looking directly in its eyes. The SQUIP was focused on making Jeremy perfect. "Uh, so how do you know so much about eyeliner?"

"I'm a super computer, I know everything. I especially know fashion, it's my speciality. I'm also going to fix your hair, because it does not look great combed like this. I think we should try it combed over to one side. It would look super cute. Wouldn't it look super cute?" SQUIP C finished the eyeliner, smiling. It grabbed a comb, making all the hair go to Jeremy's right. "Oh, I was right yet again! You look incredible like this Jeremy. Do you have any glossier lip glosses? That one is a bit dull." 

"Oh, yeah!" Jeremy pulled out the best lip gloss he had, it used to be his mother's. She wore it on nice days, when she had an interview or meeting. Jeremy used to steal it as a kid when she was at work. Usually he'd get lectured about how he can't touch her things, how he was a boy, how she better not come home and see him with it again.

One day she didn't come back. 

"Jeremy. . ." SQUIP B looked genuinely upset, was that even possible? "Do you need a SQUIP mom? Because--" 

"No you look too much like SQUIP A! You are not being my mother!" Jeremy waved his hands. "I'm fine, I am great! I don't need some lady who probably has another family by now! I have you three, my friends, and my father! I do not need anyone to be a mother, I've managed so far!" 

"Okay, got it." 

"We're going to be late." SQUIP A snapped. 

"Oh my god you are acting too human, you're jealous of the other SQUIPs." Jeremy stated, eyes widening. A particularly powerful shock ran through his body. "Okay sorry! Sorry I said anything! Ouch, jeez that one really hurt. Okay, let's go." Jeremy's words turned into a grumble as he grabbed his bag and walked to school. He kept his head down, trying not to mess anything up. To be honest he was scared of his SQUIP (well, now SQUIPs) sometimes. They weren't always nice--in fact it was rude to him a lot. But he loved it, he couldn't live without it, he needed it. 

He even loved the abuse. 

"Jeremy you can't let others know you enjoy abuse unless you want them to call you a freak." SQUIP A said, keeping a calm tone. It didn't want to scare Jeremy too much, if it did Jeremy would drink the red Dew. It wouldn't see Jeremy again after that. 

"Understood." Jeremy's voice was small. It would help if he wasn't already scared about people making fun of him, he's never worn a dress before. He wore girl shirts, yeah, but never a dress. It scared him beyond belief, what if they hated him? What if they wished he was dead? What if he got beat up or hurt? What if--

"We won't let that happen, Jeremy." SQUIP B said, flashing a glitched smile. 

"Yeah, I know." 

It was concerning to everyone, including Jeremy, that his voice didn't change. 

* * *

 "Jeremy. . . You look badass! Oh my god!" Michael ran up to Jeremy when he got there, causing everyone's attention to turn to the kid wearing the dress. "You look so cool! I wish I could've worn a dress like that when I thought I was a girl! I was so ugly in middle school! You're so adorable!" 

"Thanks Michael." Jeremy spared a small smile. "I was worried no one would like me like this." 

"Hey, it's a two player game." 

"You're. . . You're still my favorite person!" Jeremy hugged Michael, trying not to cry. "Dude you're gonna mess up my makeup. Don't make this emotional right now, the makeup isn't waterproof!" 

"Your fault buddy!"

"Jeremy?" Chloe walked over with Brooke--did they ever leave each other's sides?

"No. No they don't." SQUIP B mumbled to Jeremy. 

"You look amazing!" Chloe put her hands together. "How did you do the eyeliner?! How?!" 

"SQUIP C did this eye, I couldn't match them!" Jeremy laughed, pointing to the eye done by his SQUIP. "It also did my hair! I think it looks nice, don't you?" 

"Yes! God let me borrow your SQUIP!" 

"Wait, how did it touch you?" Brooke asked. Jake and Rich walked up behind them, grinning. Jake looked really confused--well they all did! Jeremy hadn't really come out to everyone. Only Christine and Michael. "Why are you wearing a dress, anyway?"

Christine squealed from her locker, running up and hugging Jeremy. "You're wearing a dress!" 

"I am!" Jeremy laughed whilst stumbling back. He stopped laughing when he heard a camera go off. "Jenna. . ."

"What? You look good!" Jenna shrugged, typing away on her phone. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Have you ever heard of the term 'genderqueer'?" Jeremy asked. Jake's confusion was the first to slip away, a grin plastered on his face. He slapped Jeremy's back, hugging him. "Jake that hurt!" 

"Sorry, I just realized you're not my small son, you're my kid."

"So when you got the girl shirt?" Chloe allowed the realization to settle in. 

"On purpose." Jeremy grinned. 

"Oh my gosh you look great!" Brooke smiled, taking his hands. "I love it so much, we totally need to go shopping together sometime! Your makeup is so wonderful, is your SQUIP here?" 

"Yeah, right there." Jeremy pointed at SQUIP C. Brooke cleared her throat, turning to the invisible computer. 

"You did a wonderful job SQUIP C! I'm so proud!" 

"Tell her I said thank you, and that's my talent." SQUIP C told Jeremy, allowing Jeremy to say the words back. 

"How does the SQUIP pick up your stuff? Like makeup and combs?" Jenna asked. 

"I. . . I don't know actually." Jeremy turned to the SQUIPs. "How did it do it?"

"It's because I'm the best model." SQUIP C said, smiling. 

"Better model it says." Jeremy told Jenna, shrugging. 

"I'm the better model." SQUIP B hissed out. 

"But the other one says it's the better one." Jeremy mumbled. 

"Jeremy I'm dating you, I'm the best model." SQUIP A was towering over Jeremy, glaring almost. 

"T-the original one say it's the best one." Jeremy squeaked. "It's getting really defensive about it. All of them are." 

"You are fucked." Rich said. "You have three THQUIPth. That mutht thuck. They all could thock you, or make you do thingth you don't want to, or--" 

"Richie, calm down." Jake ruffled the smaller boy's hair. 

"I will fucking fight you Jakey-D!" Rich hissed at Jake, making the taller smile and laugh. "Okay I won't, but thtill." 

"I'm fine, don't worry!" Jeremy laughed nervously. 

He wasn't fine. He was in love with someone who hurt him, it was kind of bad. It was very bad, actually; everyone knew this, but Jeremy refused to drink anything. Jeremy was truly in some deep shit for this computer. 

"What pronouns do you use?" Chloe finally asked, crossing her arms. "So we don't all mess up and make you upset." 

"I still use he, him, and his." Jeremy told her. "Don't worry about that, I'm just glad you're all accepting me." 

"Of course, Jeremy! We're your friends!" Christine butted in. 

"I knew since I was three, fight me." Michael said. 

"Like how I knew you were a boy?" Jeremy asked. "Michael used to deny it, too. 'Nah Jeremy, I'm a girl and we're going to get married!' Michael was so weird as a kid." 

Michael glared, making eye contact. "Well, mister 'okay, so I'm not a girl therefore I must be a boy because there are only two genders.'"

"Okay, okay sorry I said anything." Jeremy grinned again. 

"Only two genders, woah Jeremy." Jake raised an eyebrow. 

"I was seven!" 

"More like ten." 

"Shut up Michael!"

* * *

"So?" SQUIP C was standing behind Jeremy as he removed the makeup after a long day. 

"Thank you, I'm really thankful." Jeremy turned before hugging the glitching computer. 

"Oh fu--" SQUIP C was understanding human emotions too much for its liking in the moment. 


	4. He Can See Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh you're just feeling human emotion." 
> 
> Or: 
> 
> Guys this isn't a serious fic, like jesus this is a toxic ship. I'm going to be honest friends, wrote it to piss off my boyf. I-I think I managed to but I'm finishing this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SQUIP B = Mom SQUIP  
> SQUIP A = Jealous ass SQUIP  
> SQUIP C = 'Shit guys I'm getting feelings for a human' SQUIP

"Everything about me is just terrible, oh everything about me makes me want to die." Jeremy mumbled as he brushed his hair. He wasn't even dressed yet, he didn't feel like getting dressed; he could only brush his hair. "I wi-ii-ii-illl be more chill."

"Jeremy." SQUIP A scorned. 

Jeremy looked in his mirror, making eye contact with the SQUIP. ". . . Your job's to color my aesthetic, make me seem much less pathetic, so--" 

"Jeremy." It warned again.

"Everything about me sucks!" Jeremy was a bit louder this time, eyes forming a glare in the SQUIP's direction. Jeremy finally turned to face it. "Everyone thinks I'm such a slob! Terrible! Such a slob! Boy, can you see why?!" 

"Jeremy!" It walked over.

"You said it! I'm supposed to listen, aren't I? I had to admit it to become better, I'm still not better!" Jeremy counted this as a fight, these were the only times Jeremy ever talked back to the SQUIP. "This is how I become powerful, and popular, and incredible! I will and can be more chill--" 

It wasn't a real kiss, Jeremy knew it wasn't. It just felt like one, and it was one hell of a way to shut Jeremy up. It never made him feel better, but it was enough to shut him up so the SQUIP could get some words in. Jeremy put his hands on the SQUIP's glitching shoulders. The SQUIP pulled itself away from Jeremy. "We talked about this Jeremy, I was wrong and power hungry. You were perfectly fine with Michael, in the future you would've seen a heartbroken Christine, you would have cheered her up, she would've fallen. If that didn't happen you'd meet some person in college, Michael insisting that it was great you two waited. No matter what you chose it would've worked out for you, don't forget this."

"Yes, understood." Jeremy glanced at his feet. 

"We're being a bit hard on him." SQUIP C spoke up. 

"Oh you're just feeling human emotions." SQUIP A said back. 

"Human emotions?" Jeremy tilted his head. 

"Oh, C over here has developed feelings for you." SQUIP B said to Jeremy. "I believe it's in the similar fashion as A did, but C is having trouble admitting it."

"A did too." Jeremy mumbled.

"Don't mumble, no one can hear." SQUIP B smiled at Jeremy. "Also, smiling can sometimes improve your mood. Smile for today, Jeremy. You can look upset later, but try to smile for now. I'm not going to let you leave this house until you smile, so let's see a smile."

Jeremy shrugged, his voice was weak when he began to speak. "Not feeling it today--not feeling much today. I just want to sleep, I don't want to go anywhere. Can I just stay home today? Please?"

"Yes, let me call the school." SQUIP B said, smiling. 

"You can't." 

"Shoot. Tell your dad you aren't feeling emotionally well enough for school, ask for a personal health day."

Jeremy nodded before walking downstairs and telling his father he couldn't do it today; his father smiled weakly and told him to get back in bed. Jeremy's walk upstairs was draining the little energy he had, he collapsed in his bed. The minute he fell face first into his pillows he began to reflect on every bad part about him. "I'm so ugly. I have no charm, I'm too scrawny, no one would love a horny teenager, I hate myself and I hate my life. No one would even notice if I was gone, well I mean you three would but that's because you wouldn't exist without me."

"Now Jeremy, don't say that. Michael would definitely notice, he's your best friend. You're his best friend! Christine would also take note, she's probably worried at the moment Jeremy." SQUIP B managed--somehow--to make the blankets cover Jeremy, as if it was tucking the boy in. "Your dad would notice, h__l!" 

"How'd it make an underline noise?" SQUIP C asked, SQUIP A shrugged. 

"All your friends would notice Jeremy, so please don't think this." SQUIP B finished, giving Jeremy a warm glitched smile. Jeremy glanced up at it before burying his face in the pillows again. "Jeremy, I know you heard me. Come on out now, let's turn to face the ceiling." 

Jeremy sighed and squirmed his way to face the ceiling, looking almost as dead as he was feeling. "I'm facing the ceiling, now what?"

"Good Jeremy." SQUIP B said, kissing Jeremy's forehead before fixing the sheets and blankets on the kid. Jeremy let himself relax a bit, the SQUIP was just tucking him into bed. The SQUIP was concerned about Jeremy and Jeremy's health; the only reason why was because if Jeremy died the SQUIPs wouldn't be there-- "Jeremy, that's not why I'm concerned. You're basically my best friend, I know everything about you! I wouldn't want my friends dead--especially if they were my best friend!"

"Okay." Jeremy mumbled, pulling the covers up to his nose. "I understand, B." 

"Good, now get some rest."

Jeremy closed his eyes, about to fall back to sleep when his phone started buzzing. 

_**Player_One sent a message to PitifulChildren. . .** _

**Player_One: Jer, what's up?**

**Jenna_Cakes: Yeah, where are you?**

**Brooking_It_To_Class: Jeremy's probably not feeling it today.**

**Player_One: I know that, he's talking to his SQUIPs, it's like he doesn't even see me--did they turn optic nerve blocking on?**

Jeremy sat up quickly, seeing Michael at the front door. "Hey Michael!" 

"Dude, I've been here for five minutes. You need to say positive things, remember?" Michael sat down. "Sort of like, well, you have wonderful cheekbones." 

"What the heck Michael?" 

"You also have stunning knees!" 

"Michael!" 

"God that spine!" 

Jeremy wanted to laugh but he couldn't, he had a look that was a mix of a smile and anger; Michael knew it meant Jeremy was laughing inside of his head. "Michael come on, don't miss school for me." 

"Nah, I brought lunch here and everything." Michael held up his bag. "We could play video games, we could sit and talk about boys and SQUIPs, we could just hang out. I could lay in bed with you and we could nap together, anything is fine with me man. I mean the napping one is pretty gay, but I'm pretty gay--I'm also a pretty gay! You, too, are a pretty gay. You're also pretty gay, so we would pull off the napping." 

Jeremy scooted over, allowing Michael on the bed. Michael grinned, hopping onto the best and getting under the covers. Jeremy fell asleep instantly, Michael took a picture of him. 

"I wouldn't send that Michael." SQUIP C said.

"Oh shut up one of Jeremy's SQUIP--wait, how did I hear you?" Michael looked around. "I-I never took a SQUIP." 

"That's odd." SQUIP A walked around Michael. 

"What's odd?!"

"You can hear us." SQUIP B walked closer. 

"I-I can see you three too!" Michael backed up on the bed. "You all look. . . like Keanu Reeves--" 

"We know." All three of the SQUIPS said at the same time. "Jeremy pointed it out too."

"Why can I see you three?!" Michael was freaking out, not good. This wasn't good at all, actually.

**Player_One sent a photo!**

**Player_One: can you guys see them too?**

**Jakey_D: why are there three Keanu Reeves?!**

**Player_One: they're Jeremy's SQUIPs!**

**Valentines_Day: Not funny Michael >:(**

**Player_One: I'm not making this up they're mad at me because I was going to send a picture of sleeping Jeremy!**

**Christine_Canigulove: send it!**

**Player_One sent a photo!**

**Player_One: besides that, WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!**

**Short_and_Bisexual: Michael? Baby? Light of my life?**

**Player_One: yes Richard?**

**Short_and_Bisexual: Force. Him. To. Drink. Mountain. Dew. Red.**

**Player_One: he'd kill me!**

**Brooking_It_To_Class: I'm skipping school, coming over now to see if they're there still! I'll be over in a minute, got my mom's car again ;3**

**Player_One: see you there Brooke ;3**

**Jakey_D: babe don't flirt with Brooke.**

**Short_and_Bisexual: haaaa Jake's jealooouuuss!**

**Player_One: Jealouth***

**Short_and_Bisexual: fuck you.**

Michael put his phone down, he began to bite his nails, a habit of his when he grew nervous. 

"Michael don't bite your nails, it's bad for you." SQUIP C said, crossing its arm. "Now stop."

"Or what? You'll shock me?" Michael made a face.

"I would never!" SQUIP C put a hand to it's chest. 

"But--"

"That's me." SQUIP A said. "I'm Jeremy's. . . SQUIPfriend." 

"This is so confusing. Shouldn't you have turned off now that he's asleep?!"

"This is weird for us too, Michael." 

"Michael?" Brooke's voice cut through the air. Michael looked over, seeing the whole SQUIP Squad. "Michael we're here--oof!" Brooke was cut off when Michael hugged her close, he was so close to crying. "Michael?!" 

"I talked back to one of them and now I'm scared!" Michael whimpered. 

"I would never shock anyone!" SQUIP C said. 

"I would." SQUIP A looked at Jeremy to make a point, then shocked the poor sleeping boy. 

"WHAT THE F--SQUIP! I'm not in the mood for whatever you're offering! I'm trying to sleep with Michael--why is everyone here?" Jeremy sat up. "And I said sleep with Michael, I meant nap. We're napping, I promise Jake. Please don't rip off my balls like you said you would at the party, I kind of need them." 

"We were napping." Michael promised. 

"They were napping." SQUIP B repeated. 

"So, more importantly, why can we see you?" Jenna asked the SQUIPs.


	5. Look Man Did Not Plan This Out

"Why can we see you?"

"I. . . I don't know." SQUIP C mumbled. 

"It's illogical." SQUIP A said, crossing its arms. "You shouldn't be able to see any of us, it's almost as if they were three different pills that messed with each other--Richard Goranski, did you get each pill at a different place?"

"Uh, yeah?" Rich shrugged. 

"Oh son of--okay, okay. Our code is messed up, we're visible. We're different kinds of SQUIPs, so of course we mess up the code."

"Oh f__k." SQUIP B said, almost facepalming. 

"How. . . How did it make an underline noise?!" Michael was not keeping his voice down, he was more freaked out than anyone. 

"One second, if you can see us I can shock Richard for giving Jeremy three different pills." SQUIP A had a smirk now, staring at Rich. There was a moment of silence until Jeremy screamed. "Oh, it only works on Jeremy still." Jeremy screamed again, meaning the SQUIP shocked him once more.

"Why?" Jeremy hissed out. "Why are you like this?" 

"Because making you feel pain gives me great pleasure. Let me have this Jeremy!" 

"Your SQUIP is so nice." Chloe said, rolling her eyes. 

"Thank you, I pride myself in my charm." SQUIP C said with a smile, leaning against Jeremy's table. "Wait. . . this is from Ikea." 

"Yeah?" Jeremy tilted his head. 

"D____T!" SQUIP C got off quickly. "Hate Ikea, hate it with a passion. Their tables break too easily, you need a better table Jeremy. We need to fix up your whole room with furniture that isn't from Ikea, Ikea is evil. You never want to have Ikea stuff, it breaks--"

"You're repeating yourself." Brooke said softly, putting a hand on SQUIP C's arm. She almost shrieked when she could actually touch it, that wasn't supposed to happen either. It couldn't affect her brain, which meant she was actually touching it. "This is fucked up--"

"Cursing does not help your image." All the SQUIPs said at the same time. 

"They don't like cursing." Jeremy said softly.

"I'm sorry I'm still freaking out, this is not okay." Christine whispered. "I don't like this, too many SQUIPs. Jeremy run, Jeremy get Mountain Dew Red--they're tensing! You're all scared of that drink! No way!" 

"Bad memories." SQUIP A said.

"Can. . . I just. . . Need to be alone." Jeremy felt the crippling anxiety and depression resurface. He almost forgot how much he hated himself with his friends freaking out until he realized they didn't care about him. Why would they? He was an idiot, he was the worst, he had nothing worth living for. He didn't even notice himself tearing up, the sound of his sniffle was what indicated he wasn't okay. "I need to sleep a bit, go back to school or something." 

"Are. . . Are you sure?" Jake asked, stepping close. Jeremy flinched slightly, making the other boy step back again. "We're a phone call away, okay Jeremy?" 

"Yeah, I-I know." Jeremy said softly, waiting for them all to leave. Michael stayed back a little. 

"Jer--" 

"Just leave Michael, I won't do anything I promise. Just go." 

"What if you want to hurt yourself?" Michael didn't budge. 

"He won't, I have taken the role of SQUIP Mother™! I will make sure he is safe at all times--before you ask about A shocking him I lecture A about it all the d__n time. We wait until my kid is asleep, because for some reason we're still there. I lecture the h__l out of A, I'll keep Jeremy safe I promise." SQUIP B assured. "I can also keep record of everything Jeremy does and thinks about, so I will alert you if he even thinks about harming himself. Since this new code in the pills allow me to interact with object I can text or call you."

"I like this one a lot. I'm marrying this one, I'm leaving Jake and Richard for this SQUIP." Michael whispered.

"Leave!" Jeremy was close to breaking down. Michael opened his mouth but SQUIP B gave him a smile and a reassuring look. Michael nodded and left, deciding that maybe one of the SQUIPs was telling the truth. The minute he left Jeremy broke down sobbing, falling on the floor and hugging himself sobbing.

"Jeremy, repeat after me, okay?" SQUIP A said, waiting for Jeremy to look up. "Everything about you is so wonderful." 

"Everything a-about me is so wonderful?" Jeremy hiccuped. 

"Yes! Everything about you makes people feel alive!"

"Everything about me makes them feel alive?" 

"You are chill."

"I'm chill."

"You're cool."

"I'm cool!"

"You're incredible!"

"I am incredible!"

Jeremy was smiling again which was good, it meant he wasn't too far gone in his depression. He still could be happy like he was now, which helped the SQUIPs keep Jeremy alive. "Now, what do you want to do?" SQUIP C asked, smiling. Jeremy was a cute kid, he was cuter when he was thinking, which he was doing now. He kept his gaze on his desk, his old lotion bottle was still there. He decided to keep his gaze there, it was a time before the SQUIP when he last used that. The computer sat in front of it, where he'd watch porn. He wouldn't only watch porn, he'd watch movies--

"That's it! Thank you stream of consciousness! We should watch Parenthood! Keanu Reeves is in it!" Jeremy said quickly. "He's so cute in it, I promise he is! It's young Keanu Reeves too, god he was hot." 

"I'm. . . I'm surprisingly jealous of the person I based my form of off. This is Richard's fault, I am feeling too many human emotions." SQUIP A said, narrowing its eyes.

"Let's watch it, pleeeeeeaaaaasssseee?" Jeremy begged.

"Fine."

* * *

"He's so cute." Jeremy mumbled, snuggled up to SQUIP A. It was an actual touch, actual cuddling; it was all thanks to Richard and the pills messing each other up. "I like your version though. If anyone says anything just turn into a younger version--or make your own looks, you'd be cute no matter what A." 

"Got it." SQUIP A said, kissing Jeremy's head.

"So cute." Jeremy yawned, falling asleep quickly to the sounds of the movie.

 


	6. WHAT

Mr. Heere liked to think he was becoming a better father, he took better care of his son and himself. He made sure the house was clean, grounded his son when needed, ate three meals a day; he was a better father. The weekend passed and Jeremy was in his room a lot, he was talking to himself. Mr. Heere was making eggs for breakfast Monday morning when his son walked down with three glitching men. He dropped the pan on the floor, causing Jeremy to jump. "Jeremiah Heere."

"Yes Dad?" Jeremy rubbed his eyes, yawning slightly. 

"Who the hell are these men?"

"Oh. . . Oh you can see them, I forgot about that. Dad, remember when I said I took a supercomputer that was telling me what to do? Remember how you didn't believe me? Well these are my SQUIPs, or super quantum unit intel processors. I have my original one, who I am also dating, it's A. That one is B, it enjoys pretending to be another dad--"

"I am Jeremy's SQUIP mother." SQUIP B said, holding its hand out to Mr. Heere, he shook it slowly. "I protect him from everything and everyone, including A."

"--C is this one, it's my side date. We have a mutual understanding of that, so um, yeah. These are my SQUIPs, I hope you can approve of this wacky relationship I have."

"Wait, side date?" Mr. Heere raised an eyebrow.

"We kissed once or twice--"

"You kissed C five hundred seventy two times." SQUIP A hissed, glaring at Jeremy. "That was all last night. Don't make me count the times from yesterday or Saturday--I haven't even mentioned Friday afternoon." 

"Well, they can't go to school with you." Mr. Heere said, picking up the pan. "Can you turn them off?"

"Yeah, yeah okay. SQUIPs can you all deactivate?" Jeremy yawned again. His SQUIPs disappeared just like that. "Well, good morning Dad."

"Five hundred seventy two kisses? That's impressive for one night, Jeremiah. That's your side date, huh?" Mr. Heere cleaned up the floor.

"Yeah, isn't it great? A is even better, it's a bit jealous and abu--well, a beautiful computer." Jeremy caught himself, he almost said abusive. SQUIP A wasn't abusive, not at all, not one bit. "I know it's weird--"

"Jeremiah."

"--but I really like them--"

"Jeremiah!"

"--I'm happy Dad!"

"Jeremiah Heere! I was going to say try to have them change their appearances or something, make them look younger. Be safe kiddo, I. . . I want to be a good dad, just tell me if anything goes south, okay?"

"I promise."

* * *

"I need a fidget spinner or a cube or something." Jeremy mumbled during lunch, chewing his thumb. "I keep twitching, I have to tap my pencil on my desk to pay attention and that bothers my class. I know I'm being super basic and it's stupid--I'm being stupid--but I need something to help me out."

"Never fear, ex-boyfriend and bestfriend shall provide you with the coolest fidget spinner ever." Michael slung an arm around Jeremy. "I have a shit ton because my parents always buy them for me hoping they'll make me cooler. You can take your pick when you come over tonight." 

"Binder shopping?"

"My only good one is now too loose!"

"Michael! That's great! I'm so proud!" Jeremy hugged his best friend. "That's awesome!"

"We getting your nails done at the salon too?" Michael had a grin that only showed when he was talking to Jeremy. Jeremy felt the heat of Jake and Rich's gazes, they were easily jealous."Because I'll get mine done, not painted."

"Yeah, totally! I need to, um, actually grab a couple batteries for my--"

"Stop."

"I was going to say headphones, they're the soundproof kind--OH MY GOD MICHAEL!" Jeremy made a face before slamming his head on the table. "Stoooooooop. You're so embarrassing."

"You have so many--"

"STOP!"

"--you fucking furry--"

"I will murder you."

"--need new lotion too, don't you?"

"I hate you." Jeremy snorted, biting his thumb again. It's funny, he didn't remember his thumb tasting like iron--oh. Oh he was bleeding, he bit through the skin. Jeremy shrugged before continuing to bite the thumb. The blood kept flowing, he was actually increasing the damage to his thumb. 

"Jer, you're doing it again. Yeah let's get you a fidget cube instead, you need it. That one helps with not biting yourself too, but it has more. So--Jeremy please stop you're going to eat your thumb--THAT IS NOT A CHALLENGE JEREMIAH!" It was almost amusive how Michael and Jeremy went back and forth. The minute Michael mentioned Jeremy eating his own thumb it became a game. Jeremy was chewing his thumb quicker, wincing every now and then. Michael was attempting to pull the thumb away from Jeremy's mouth. "Let go of your damn thumb! Oh my god it's totally ruined, look at this perfectly good thumb, it's all gone. One second I have bandages in my bag." Michael grabbed a packet of band-aids, wrapping one around Jeremy's thumb. He almost cried when he saw Jeremy was now chewing on the other hand's thumb. This caused some pulling and fighting until Michael finally won the battle and had Jeremy's hands pinned on the table. "So, how was everyone's weekend?"

"I mithed you while I wath away." Rich said softly. 

"I missed you too." Michael replied. 

"Um, why is Jeremy chewing his arm?" Jenna asked as she strolled up to the group.

"Oh god fucking dammit Jeremiah!"

"It calms me Michael!"

* * *

"You let Michael buy you a fidget cube?" SQUIP A asked, walking around Jeremy's room.

"I had to." Jeremy replied.

"Why?"

"Well he doesn't take no for an answer when I act up or hurt myself." 

"Whatever."

"You. . . You sound human."

"I sound human?"

"Just like a human."

"Oh."

"Um, so, are you turning human?"

 

 


	7. Uh, Heck Yeah I'm Naming the SQUIPs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay tbh it's getting awkward writing this because I had an idea and it flipping flew away.  
> Also, thinking of doing a sequel for RichxJakexMichael, tell me if I should.

"I'm not turning human!" 

"A, you. . . You really sound human. You're glitching less and um, di-did you change your appearance?" 

"You said I'd look cute with whatever." 

"You do look cute!" 

SQUIP A looked young, the Keanu Reeves look still there just a younger version. The eyes were kind of bluer, the hair was shorter. It was kind of weird, but C and B looked different too. They were slowly becoming human, which was impossible. The author knows it's impossible, trust the author, but it was happening. "Well now we can accompany you to school, wait can I still shock you?" 

Jeremy winced, waiting for it to happen. He almost looked up until a hand slapped him, he covered the cheek that was slapped. "Did y-you j-j-just hit me?"

"I didn't mean to, I suppose I can't shock you anymore. I'll have to buy one of those shock pens to use on you, I don't want to slap you." SQUIP A said softly, rubbing the cheek he hit. "Let me get ice--"

"No it's fine." Jeremy assured, smiling softly. "You didn't want to, a shock pen seems less painful than the shocks you used to give."

"Well I'll buy two."

"F__k, calm down." SQUIP B said. "I can still make the noise, good. Calm down A, don't hurt the kid too bad. Now we should probably call your friends to get their input because I'm a computer." It sounded worried. "Jeremy I'm not human, this is weird." 

"I'm up for being human." SQUIP C smiled. "Easier to have physical contact with someone, I'd be actually touching Jeremy when I hold his hand."

Jeremy rolled his eyes, receiving a small pinch from SQUIP A. He opened his phone, going to messages.

**He's_Heere_and_Queer sent a message to PitifulChildren!**

**He's_Heere_and_Queer: come over now.**

**Player_One: what's up my buddy?**

**Short_and_Bisexual: how does Michael always answer first? I had my phone out and his was all the way across the room. He fucking sprinted to get it when he saw it was Jeremy.**

**Jakey_D: Michael loves Jeremy more than us.**

**Player_One: I can't deny it.**

**Jakey_D: Okay, I'm coming over and fucking MURDERING JEREMY**

**He's_Heere_and_Queer: please no.**

**Player_One: I'm not wearing a shirt, only binder and boxers and I'm fucking sprinting to your house from Jake's. Neighbors are giving me weird looks, I'm fucking amazing.**

**Short_and_Bisexual: Jake's driving us over, Michael is fucking sonic it's official. He's nowhere to be seen.**

**He's_Heere_and_Queer: He's in my room already, he ran twenty miles in two minutes apparently.**

**Player_One: I jumped a fence separating Jake's neighborhood from Jeremy's, broke into someone's backyard to do it. So worth it man, I had fun with that one.**

**Canigulove: I'm outside Jeremy's room**

**Canigulove: Michael needs a shirt and pants**

**Canigulove: Someone bring him some clothes on your way in**

**Player_One: or! Or! Just come embrace that I'm sexy as hell.**

**Brooking_It_To_Class: can confirm Michael is sexy, Chlo, Jenna, and I are all walking in now.**

**Short_and_Bisexual: walking up stairs now :)**

"Woah." Jake said when he walked in. "They're young aren't they?"

"Your SQUIPs are going to be so jealous." Jenna whispered. 

"I'm his date mate, his SQUIP A." SQUIP A hissed, crossing its arms. 

There was silence until Michael smiled. "No don't Michael--" Jeremy started, but he was too late. Michael punched SQUIP A in the jaw, the power of the punch was surprisingly hard. The SQUIP fell on the ground. "Michael!"

"I've wanted to do that for a year!" Michael said, raising a fist in the air. "FUCKING FINALLY!"

"Cursing isn't the best thing for your image, Michael." SQUIP C whispered. 

"Oh shush, you're not the one who does the underline noise." Michael held out a hand to SQUIP A, helping it back up. "Sorry, needed to get that out."

"Understandable." SQUIP A replied, waving a hand. "Emotions are confusing, but rage is absolutely normal and you--Jeremy holy shit!" SQUIP A grabbed Jeremy's hands. "Is this how you felt?! That's pain?! I'm so sorry Jeremy, fuck it still stings!"

"Cursing isn't good for your image." Jeremy whispered back. 

"I will hit you."

"Aww but pain hurts A." 

"We should name them!" Christine blurted out. 

"That's a good point. Hmmmm, well C could be Connor." Brooke suggested. 

"No, too much like Connor Murphy, I will cry." Jeremy whispered. "Clide?"

SQUIP C smiled. "Clide."

"That's a name." Jake said softly.

"B can be Blake." Jeremy was smiling. "A can be Ash." 

"Works for me." 'Blake' said. 'Ash' nodded, putting its hands on Jeremy's shoulder.

"As cute as this is I have a question, who the fuck is the girl in the picture labeled 'first ever date'?" Jenna asked, pointing at Jeremy's wall of pictures. Most were of him and Michael, a couple were when they were dating. One or two had Jeremy with his mom and dad, smiling. Most had his handwriting on it, little reminders of what the events were. The one Jenna pointed out had a child Jeremy's handwriting on it. "She's so cute!"

"He's still cute." Michael said, flipping his hair and posing. 

"That's you?!" Jenna squealed. 

"Jeremy has a lot of memories of Michael back then, I can confirm that's him." Blake said. "I can try to find more images of the two as children if you wish."

"You're truly my mother Blake." Jeremy said. "100% SQUIP mom."

"I try."

"More importantly, I have to take these three to school." Jeremy put his hands up.

"Oh." Jake hissed out.

"Yeah."

"Well, let's get them some clothes!" Chloe chirped, grabbing Brooke. "It's going to be fun, I promise you three."

Even without the benefits of being not-human, the SQUIPs could tell it was not going to be fun.

 


	8. An abrupt ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *writing, knows all the flags, knows what to do, what each sexuality is*  
> Me: what are my SQUIPs names again?  
> I couldn't flipping write their names, I felt too weird.

It turns out being a high school student was even difficult for the former computers.

They still had their knowledge of what was cool and knew everything about every subject but it was weird.

There was now other attributes given to them when they became human. They began to experience gender and sexualities and it did not go well for poor Jeremy who shares a room with them. There are seven pride flags in his room, the poly one and genderqueer one for himself were always there; he made sure. Now there was also a rainbow flag, a genderfluid flag, an asexual flag, a transgender flag, and a questioning flag. Jeremy had to explain to all the SQUIPs (well, now humans) during pride what each flag meant.

This is pretty much how it went. 

"I'm pretty sure I'm a gay male." SQUIP A mumbled after the explanation. The lessons taught about mumbling didn't matter anymore, it was comfortable. "Yeah I'm really gay, Jeremy can I borrow money to get a flag. I'll get a job after school hours, I just need money now."

"Hey, my treat." Jeremy said with a smile. "I'm buying you all the total two each, you don't have to pick two."

"I just want the rainbow one, it's pretty." A tugged Jeremy's arm. 

"I'm. . . I'm trans?" B more or less asked, but got the trans flag down. B also got the asexual flag down, because what even is sexual attraction?

C just pulled down the flag with a big question mark and genderfluid flag, running up to Jeremy.

Jeremy paid for it, grinning. The SQUIPs were all so excited to have discovered cool human things. Jeremy may or may not have brought them to the SAGA meetings at school, allowing them to discover what it was like to find a group of people like them.

Well, not exactly like them but hey, not everyone is a former super computer.

Classes were easier since they all befriended (or just gained the trust) of the SQUIP Squad™. Each class they had a member of the group, so it didn't really matter.

A got a lot better at containing his anger, there was less shocking with pens than ever before by the time they graduated.

All of them got to do what they always secretly dreamed of doing, too.

* * *

"You're sure it won't kill you three? Jeremy will murder me." Michael raided his fridge.

"Just let us try!" B begged. 

"Alright, Mountain Dew Red. A bottle each, if you die I'm blaming you all."

Luckily for Michael, no one died.

Sadly, C did become a Dew junkie.

* * *

"I don't see what's so difficult, the answer is twelve Jeremy."

"Yeah, yeah. Look college is a lot more fun when I'm not studying A. Does not help I have three roommates who nag me about how I'm terrible at math."

"You're a great human Jeremy. You're my awkward bean."

"Remind me to delete your Tumblr account."

Three SQUIPs was definitely interesting.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing the Michael one, I'm super excited for that. Let me tell you this was a joke at first, but then people started reading it.  
> So enjoy the worst ending possible because I A M R U N N I N G O U T O F I D E A S


End file.
